Me, a writer

I’m bored as hell
So here I am pretending to be some sort of artist
Truth is I’m lonely
But I don’t wanna say it just like that
I wanna say it in a pseudo intellectual way that shows how deep I am. Truth is I’m not so deep or different or closer to the truth than anyone.
I’m lonely and that has nothing to do with being special
I’m lonely inside as well as out
I wish I wasn’t
I wish I wouldn’t have to be here pretending to be a writer
Coz I’m not
I’m just a guy
A lonely guy
A human being as well as you other 6 billions are.
I have more questions than answers
I know less and less everyday.
Words, words, words.
We spend an awful lot of time speaking
Yet we rarely say something
Funny, isn’t it?

Quote:

Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable?
Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Rob Gordon.

Ashes

And then I realized that ashes were just ashes. I remembered how absurd had been trying to get back from the past, I remembered its taste on the lonely mouths that I once met in some party when, looking for magic, I only found sadness and cigarettes smoke.

That I would be good even in spite of me

To make such an openly optimistic statement, these days and in spite of all the odds, like Alanis did in “That I Would be Good”, it’s quite inspiring and amazingly encouraging, and it helps me believe that not only I should keep believing, or never lose my faith, but that I would be good, that no matter what, I would be good.

Clumsiness

I try to tell her with my body what I feel
but I'm too clumsy and my body doesn't say anything so I hug her and try not to cry but my stupid body can't do anything right and I have to let her go before tears start wetting my eyes.

Will you?

I’m gonna pack my feelings in a rucksack and leave with them
You will never see me again
You will never hear me again
You will never feel me again
You will never talk to me again
You will never hear or say my name again
Will you ever think of me again?

Confession

I need you, I do...I just don't love you.