Me, a writer

I’m bored as hell
So here I am pretending to be some sort of artist
Truth is I’m lonely
But I don’t wanna say it just like that
I wanna say it in a pseudo intellectual way that shows how deep I am. Truth is I’m not so deep or different or closer to the truth than anyone.
I’m lonely and that has nothing to do with being special
I’m lonely inside as well as out
I wish I wasn’t
I wish I wouldn’t have to be here pretending to be a writer
Coz I’m not
I’m just a guy
A lonely guy
A human being as well as you other 6 billions are.
I have more questions than answers
I know less and less everyday.
Words, words, words.
We spend an awful lot of time speaking
Yet we rarely say something
Funny, isn’t it?

Quote:

Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable?
Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Rob Gordon.

Ashes

And then I realized that ashes were just ashes. I remembered how absurd had been trying to get back from the past, I remembered its taste on the lonely mouths that I once met in some party when, looking for magic, I only found sadness and cigarettes smoke.

That I would be good even in spite of me

To make such an openly optimistic statement, these days and in spite of all the odds, like Alanis did in “That I Would be Good”, it’s quite inspiring and amazingly encouraging, and it helps me believe that not only I should keep believing, or never lose my faith, but that I would be good, that no matter what, I would be good.

Clumsiness

I try to tell her with my body what I feel
but I'm too clumsy and my body doesn't say anything so I hug her and try not to cry but my stupid body can't do anything right and I have to let her go before tears start wetting my eyes.

Will you?

I’m gonna pack my feelings in a rucksack and leave with them
You will never see me again
You will never hear me again
You will never feel me again
You will never talk to me again
You will never hear or say my name again
Will you ever think of me again?

Confession

I need you, I do...I just don't love you.

She

She is bigger than herself
she is a myth I once believed in
she is made out of monsters and butterflies
she is not an Is anymore
she is a was
and sometimes I wish...a will be.

Is it fun to Lose and to Pretend?

I wanna stop pretending I have friends
I wanna stop pretending I’m not proud of being a loser
I just wanna put my life in the hands of a Rock n’ Roll band for them to throw it all away.
I wanna stop pretending I don’t miss her
I wanna stop pretending I miss him that much
I wanna stop pretending it’s fun to lose and to pretend
I wanna stop pretending.

I’m worse at what I do best that has always been the strangest gift.

I Think

I think I need to find a bigger place...
'cause when you have more than you think
you need more space.

I think I need to find a bigger place...
'cause our love has grown so big
we need more space.

Not Fair

It don't seem fair...you seemed to like it here.

It don't seem fair I know you liked being here.

It don't seem fair you know we miss you here.

The stone and the star

We we're but stones. Your light made us stars.

I'm just a stone, Not a Rolling stone.

I am a stone Always chasing stars.

I was a stone, you always were the star.

You, me two stones. Our love made us stars.

I'm Just a Stone Who Always Chases Stars

Right now I’m like: I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star. I long for the day when I can say I HOPE you be the star in whatever sky you want, I hope you shine brighter than a thousand suns. I hope you have a beautiful life, I’ll always think of you, I hope someday you have a beautiful life as beautiful as you.

Would you...

Would you catch me if I was falling?
Would you kiss me if I was leaving?
Would you hold me when I'm lonely?
No you wouldn't, would you?

Thinking out loud in my way home

Once you overcome depression there’s no point on listening to bands such as Staind or Cold, by the way Cold disbanded, the lead singer is now in a new band named When November Falls, I guess I’m gonna have to wait and listen. I Bet their first CD is gonna be good...I’m not sure about the second, just like with Alter Bridge, their first album was great but the second I don’t know, maybe I need to hear it a few times more “some songs need time”, by the way Alter‘s second album is titled Blackbird just like Cinthya’s favorite song...mine is Black, I like that.

Random happy moments

I could say a million things about her
but for now I won't...
for now I won't.

Abstinence

Abstinence. It's not so bad, it gives me a purpose...
Isn't self-preservation and slef-satisfaction a purpose?
What's my purpose?