Dawn

Until someday you wake up at 4:30 am in someone’s bed wanting to kill yourself for being there but you can’t, you keep dragging yourself into that self destructive hole of 6 seconds of happiness and a life time of regret and nothing has changed since the last time, nothing has changed in the last 3 years except you are older and what it seemed to be a one time thing became an dying hard old habit, “next time it will be different”, you lie to yourself pretending to believe a word of that is true but deep down you know, you know you will be there next week at the same hour going through the same thoughts all over again, you know you are depressive self hating egomaniac bastard, so you indulge yourself one more time, “this is the last one”... you are so full of crap.
You will be there next week, laying next to her naked body, smelling her nasty cigarettes, you are going to be there wanting to die, and also there she will be wanting to die wanting perhaps.